Can’t go with you
Won’t go with you
But would you even ask me to
Convincing myself that I can’t have you
At least not in that way
You made that quite clear that day
There’s the part that wants more
And the part that knows I’ll only get less
So for now I’ll just say you do you
And tell myself I won’t be going home with you
I’ll keep yours
If you keep mine
But if my best friend asks
Then that info gets passed on
Maybe not all the details but some 😉
I figure you’d do the same
If you weren’t ashamed
But that’s on you
So I’ll keep acting like I’m not claimed
Until the day that actually does change
Nothing, i will
Only
Need to keep
Eating whatever i want
😉
I am proud of you
Piece of art now part of me
You add more to me
Twisted in lovers lane
A mix of emotions I can’t, or choose not to explain
How can I go from having “some” feelings to what seems like love overnight
You touched me without touching me
Or rather made me touch myself
I feel your presence here even though you’re clearly not
Not physically but mentally you’re right here next to me
Laying oh so perfectly
Will this sudden rush of feelings go away as quickly as they came
Or will they stand the test of time
Sadly, perhaps thankfully even as I finish this poem I feel those feelings slipping away
And me returning back to normal
Whatever that means
These thoughts they run deep
Like the blood through my veins
And I try to change course but it’s like it’s in vain
So sometimes I feel shame, and sometimes I just embrace
But then that embrace turns into self-hate
And if I can’t be at peace with my own thoughts, then who will
It’s like I’m living in a ghost world, my own Silent Hill
And daylight only breaks when I get distracted by going through my daily motions
Hoping to avoid my really crazy thoughts
But when I’m alone in my head my thoughts aren’t just thoughts
They’re my new reality, my shelter from the world
And then I’m shamed, spooked, scared, awakened back to the real world
Only to slowly fall back into my thoughts again
A world of mirrors
The truth is hidden from all
And time heals nothing
I keep going back to you
And pushing you away
Why do I do this
Is it your fault or mine
Will there be a time when we get it right
I really don’t want to have this fight
You can get mad at me, but I can’t at you
But who made that rule
When I’m the only one forcing myself to follow it
The cycle only ends when we both agree to stop it
But for now I guess
We’ll keep each other in our back pockets
A new beginning
A fresh start in a new world
You have broken free
