Same Old Love

I keep going back to you
And pushing you away

Why do I do this

Is it your fault or mine

Will there be a time when we get it right
I really don’t want to have this fight

You can get mad at me, but I can’t at you

But who made that rule

When I’m the only one forcing myself to follow it

The cycle only ends when we both agree to stop it

But for now I guess

We’ll keep each other in our back pockets

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Without You

Might be possible I’m better off without you

Even though you have your uses

Life would be much simpler, though I’d be a “worse” person

Based on certain societal moral standards

Of course, without you it’s not like I’d care about those

Realistically, I’d be more fun, and a lot less stressed

People put a lot of stock in you

But I’m not so sure I should

Not anymore

 

 

Quit

I can’t quit you

Though maybe that thinking is setting me up for failure

 

I mean I’ve tried once

That didn’t stick

 

Then you broke things off

I was sad but also happy about it

 

Though I knew that wasn’t really the case

I imagined it as this strength you had that I did not

 

It was mainly you overreacting

Though I guess I also “misunderstood”

 

You came back

And I was happy about that too

 

I tell you again we should end it

And you agree

I tell you we should have one last meeting to end it properly unlike last time

And you agree

 

Now we wait to see if it sticks…

 

 

 

 

 

Deny

Can’t have what you want

But that’s not really true

You want two things

Two things that are complete opposites

To please one part of yourself

Is to deny the other

Will you continue to torture yourself

Or will you make a choice

Can you make that choice

If 25 years is any indication I’d say no

But then again, making no choice

Is a choice in and of itself

Are you trapped to always deny part of you

Or are you bold enough to have your cake and eat it too

via Daily Prompt: Deny
Deny

 

Labels

I’ve known I was black as far as I can remember

That may not be a good marker though,

since I can’t really remember stuff before age 5

 

I can tell you though that my younger sister

For the longest time

Thought our light-skin grandmother (mother’s side)

was white

 

I can also tell you

That I’ve never had any negative feelings toward another race,

or people of a different economic status for that matter

 

Now whether people have felt that way about me

I couldn’t tell you

But, I do know it wasn’t until middle school

that I started knowing labels given to black people

 

What “we” were supposed to act like

We were supposed to be loud, not able to listen,

and disrespectful

 

We were supposed to be ghetto,

Good at sports (basketball in particular),

Not very intelligent,

and criminals

 

Now I don’t want you thinking it’s all other races who say this

We say it about ourselves, to each other

how crazy is that

 

Intelligence, that’s another thing we’re reported not to have

Well, I for one think I share the belief with others of my race

That we are just as intelligent as any other,

and given the chance can be just as successful

 

Now, you might think me meeting former President George W. Bush Jr.

Might have given me a first glance at feeling “different”,

realizing we aren’t all the “same”, but no

 

I was probably too young at that time to notice,

My revelation, or experiencing “otherness”

Came from a program designed to help make me successful, People to People

designed to help future leaders

 

Although in 8th grade and obviously knowing differences between white

And black or any other race I had never really…

felt out of place until that weeklong event in D.C

 

If you look at the picture we took you’ll know why

4 black kids out of the 200+ amount of students

Kind of discouraging, wouldn’t ya say

but, being the person I am I had fun regardless of course

 

I guess that you know no matter what label you’re put under

black, White

Rich, poor

Whether you come from a culture of dancers, or Doctors

rappers, or Writers

You are who you want to be

And can still represent yourself

Not always tied down to your

Racial, economic, and cultural

identity