Quit

I can’t quit you

Though maybe that thinking is setting me up for failure

 

I mean I’ve tried once

That didn’t stick

 

Then you broke things off

I was sad but also happy about it

 

Though I knew that wasn’t really the case

I imagined it as this strength you had that I did not

 

It was mainly you overreacting

Though I guess I also “misunderstood”

 

You came back

And I was happy about that too

 

I tell you again we should end it

And you agree

I tell you we should have one last meeting to end it properly unlike last time

And you agree

 

Now we wait to see if it sticks…

 

 

 

 

 

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MENTOR

Maybe
Everyone
Needs
To
Opt Out
Really

Is a mentor something that is deserved
Or merely needed
How do you know if they've abandoned you, or whether you're just paranoid
Too paranoid to reach out
That just makes you sound stupid if you tell anyone
Have your insecurities about relationships infected every area of your life now
Who can say…

Stay

Why couldn’t you

Was I not enough

 

I don’t think I even knew I wanted to be yours

Yet now you’re gone

 

We spent far too few times together

But who’s fault was that?

 

You came into my life whenever you wanted

But part of me enjoyed that

Part of me wanted more

 

I was surprised the last time you reached out

And we actually chatted so much it surprised me

And you were surprised at my surprise

 

I told you I wanted to be there for you

Help you get away

 

Sadly I wasn’t quick enough

And now you’re gone for good

 

I wish you hadn’t told me your plans for us

Cuz now I look back and just think…

 

Damn

 

Sometimes I wish things would have been different

And now I’m not sure things could have been any other way with us

 

Maybe in another universe we both kept out of trouble

And I wouldn’t be wishing you were here

 

But you weren’t mine to keep

And you couldn’t stay

 

So now I can only say

Goodbye babe

 

 

 

 

Dreams

Do daydreams mean what I think they do?

 

Why are most of them about you?

 

And when I say you I’m not talking about just one you

But all the ones before, during, and after you

 

Are you all the same?

 

Is the common thread between you your fault or mine?

 

When I dream at night why are you there?

Is it just fulfilling a fantasy or is something hidden there?

 

Can I be honest with you, when I’ve just learned to be honest with myself?

 

The problem isn’t you it’s me

And that’s why I’ll only be with you in dreams

Want

You want all the things that you can’t have

You can’t have all the things that you want

 

Ex-friends, best friends,

boyfriends/girlfriends

 

Whether you choose your circle or it chooses you,

Sometimes you can’t help but wonder about the people you wish you knew

 

Cuddle buddies, make out buddies, twerk buddies,

church buddies?

 

These different roles you try to fill,

But can you find these people when you need to heal

 

Looking to the past

Imagining new futures

 

While time usually seems to move forward, my brain can confuse her

I dream these daydreams and sometimes have very weird thoughts

 

But then I snap out of it, back to the time we call the present

But my presence in the present isn’t always what I expect it to be

 

So I go and imagine all these things that I think I want

But I can’t have them anyway, at least not all of them

 

Because while I may want you, you don’t want me

And that’s just the way it’s gonna be

At Night 

Sleep does not come 

The mind wanders

His thoughts drift back to you

He wonders where things,

No where he went wrong

Can things be salvaged 

Is he doomed to repeat the same mistakes 

Or will thoughts turn into corrective actions

If not there’s always the next night

Where once again his thoughts will drift to you before he can sleep