Never could have


Very vivid false dreams of you, random thoughts after long lapses of time

Even though we weren’t really together that long, if at all

Keep coming back to me, but keep your secrets to yourself 



I can’t quit you

Though maybe that thinking is setting me up for failure


I mean I’ve tried once

That didn’t stick


Then you broke things off

I was sad but also happy about it


Though I knew that wasn’t really the case

I imagined it as this strength you had that I did not


It was mainly you overreacting

Though I guess I also “misunderstood”


You came back

And I was happy about that too


I tell you again we should end it

And you agree

I tell you we should have one last meeting to end it properly unlike last time

And you agree


Now we wait to see if it sticks…







Opt Out

Is a mentor something that is deserved
Or merely needed
How do you know if they've abandoned you, or whether you're just paranoid
Too paranoid to reach out
That just makes you sound stupid if you tell anyone
Have your insecurities about relationships infected every area of your life now
Who can say…


Why couldn’t you

Was I not enough


I don’t think I even knew I wanted to be yours

Yet now you’re gone


We spent far too few times together

But who’s fault was that?


You came into my life whenever you wanted

But part of me enjoyed that

Part of me wanted more


I was surprised the last time you reached out

And we actually chatted so much it surprised me

And you were surprised at my surprise


I told you I wanted to be there for you

Help you get away


Sadly I wasn’t quick enough

And now you’re gone for good


I wish you hadn’t told me your plans for us

Cuz now I look back and just think…




Sometimes I wish things would have been different

And now I’m not sure things could have been any other way with us


Maybe in another universe we both kept out of trouble

And I wouldn’t be wishing you were here


But you weren’t mine to keep

And you couldn’t stay


So now I can only say

Goodbye babe






You want all the things that you can’t have

You can’t have all the things that you want


Ex-friends, best friends,



Whether you choose your circle or it chooses you,

Sometimes you can’t help but wonder about the people you wish you knew


Cuddle buddies, make out buddies, twerk buddies,

church buddies?


These different roles you try to fill,

But can you find these people when you need to heal


Looking to the past

Imagining new futures


While time usually seems to move forward, my brain can confuse her

I dream these daydreams and sometimes have very weird thoughts


But then I snap out of it, back to the time we call the present

But my presence in the present isn’t always what I expect it to be


So I go and imagine all these things that I think I want

But I can’t have them anyway, at least not all of them


Because while I may want you, you don’t want me

And that’s just the way it’s gonna be

We Don’t Talk Anymore¬†

Every now and then I think you might want me to come show up at your door, but I’m just too afraid that I’ll be wrong …
A text is sent and there’s a delayed response 

Or none at all 

Phone calls were never common with us 

I think to myself which of us is the problem

Do I expect too much

And am I expecting too much of you as the friends I hope we are

Or the romantic interest I want you to be 

Can I talk to you about this

Nerves won’t let me do so

This cycle shall continue I guess, but today you responded back so I should be happy